Happy World Diabetes Day

November 14 is World Diabetes Day. For those of us who live with diabetes every day, it’s just another day, but it’s also an opportunity to raise awareness about diabetes, treatments, and stigmas surrounding it. Over the past few years I’ve become increasingly active in diabetes support communities, from basically converting my blog to product reviews and pro-tips, to co-hosting the Diacast podcast.

So today, I’ll ask you take a step back and think about the following:

    - Diabetes education and emphasis on mental health is sorely insufficient. Diabetics struggle with hundreds of small management decisions a day, societal stigmas and misconceptions (no, you do not “give” yourself diabetes and no, you can’t reverse it). Before you open your mouth to make an off-the-cuff joke about eating cake giving you diabetes, take a beat and think about the harmful stereotype that joke perpetuates. Because trust me, the cake will not give anyone diabetes, but you better believe I’ve been told by people in all seriousness that it will.

    - While I am very open about my diabetes, many other people aren’t. It doesn’t matter what illness or disease a person has, someone else’s health and management are not something you can control. Only I can manage my diabetes. Don’t offer unsolicited advice or stick your nose into someone’s management choices – if you’re curious or want to learn more, ask if you can ask questions, and then respect the answer. Avoid using absolute words like “never” and “always.” Try not to judge or push. Personal health is a very touchy subject for many people.

    - Using diabetes meds for off-label purposes (I’m looking at you, assholes using Ozempic for weight loss) are doing real, tangible harm to people who rely on those meds to manage their diabetes. Access to the drugs that many of us need to stay alive can be horrifically perilous (and not just in the US).

 

    - Diabetes is not a death sentence. Diabetes does not mean we're going to have complications (thank you, modern treatment methods). Your aunt’s dog’s diabetes is not a good thing to compare to my human diabetes. Cinnamon is not going to help me (or anyone) manage.

    - Diabetes does not have to hold us back. But it does change the equation. It introduces complexity and requires the ability to adjust and revise and pivot. It requires mental fortitude and a support network.

Today, I ask that you make the conscious choice to be kind and supportive of the people in your life (but especially the diabetics). Help combat misinformation and the stereotypes and misconceptions that we have to deal with every day. Support healthcare access so people can actually get their insulin or whatever meds they use to manage. Ask “what do you need from me?” instead of “why did you do that?”.

I consider myself extremely lucky to have such an amazing support network and friends. Your willingness to listen and learn and ask probing questions is a testament to you. Share that support with the people around you.

And while we're at it, let's keep funding research for a cure so that one of these days I can tell diabetes to go fuck itself forever.

So it's been awhile... and that's ok

 Some days it's hard to be positive.

If the past year and a half has taught me anything, it's that it's okay to not be okay. But even then, it's exhausting. I talk a lot about how mental health is important, how you should try to control what you can and accept what you can't. But saying it and living it are two different things.

I've been in a rut. My low-level disquiet has started to simmer and is trying to manifest as depression and obsessive behavior. I find myself obsessing over my blood sugars, skipping meals, fighting the urge to drink more than I should, and fighting a degree of body dysmorphia. And then just as quickly I swing the other direction and could not give two shits about my diabetes and subsist off of yogurt, chocolate, and booze (which, oddly enough, plays really well with my numbers).

I tell myself that it's because the world has changed over the past 2 years and has finally wore me down, that I'm terrible at disconnecting from the real world and work and need to let things go. But the degree of truth in that is hard to discern. I'm restless in almost every aspect of my life. I want to drop off the grid and go play and just be for a couple months, but I'm just don't know how much running away would make things better. 

Pretty sure this is the headspace where people shave their heads or get a big tattoo but really should not be making major decisions. 

I've been trying to find productive hobbies. I've been doing a lot of research for a podcast that a friend and I are doing (well, a reboot. It's called The Diacast and it's cool, you should listen to it). I've been doing a lot of weight training and trying to actually develop some muscle definition (it's starting to pay off, I now have discernible abs, although definitely not a six pack). But at the end of the day, it's just a distraction from the general discontent. But I have gotten really good at making sourdough bread.

So I try to remind myself to follow my own advice - that it's ok to not be ok, to give myself the same grace and consideration I try to bestow upon others. 

And just as a shameless plug (and cuz I really do think we're doing good work), you should go check out the podcast. Even for non-diabetics, I think it's fun and educational, and also my obsession with Snickers is front and center.

Anyways. Just figured I'd post something to prove that the blog lives and I swear I haven't given up on it, just... been distracted and unmotivated.